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Northumbria University Mountaineering Club |
O U T A C |
Christmas – December 2008 |
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Outac Awards 2008 ·
Outdoor Incompetence
Award Each
season we give this award in recognition of particularly notable acts of poor
leadership, bad planning or just plain old-fashioned stupidity in the face of
Mother Nature. Nominations:
- Phil (For
the second year running). Despite
the freezing cold conditions, fierce 40 mph winds and Eva’s’ safety briefing
about the importance of keeping warm and dry, Phil decided to set a shining
example to his club members by going skinny-dipping in Stickle Tarn. Ian (safety
officer) During his
safety briefing at Mar Lodge, Ian decided the most important thing that the
team needed to know when scaling Britain’s second highest mountain was how to
press the transmit switch on a walkie-talkie. He subsequently went one better
by forgetting the correct method himself less than 24 hours later, so that no
one could understand his transmission asking for a regroup at Derry Lodge. Hellena (Nicole’s sister) Despite never having
scaled a mountain before, Helena valiantly elected to attempt Ben MacDhui.
She brought along all of the essential equipment for such a daunting task: - Hairdryer Vanity case Manicure set Heated hairbrush Eyebrow tweezers Hairspray Bathrobe Slippers etc, the list
goes on… The only things she
didn’t elect to bring were a Goretex jacket, fleece and a half decent pair of
walking boots. Winner : Nicole Back in December,
Nicole decided to come skiing in Chamonix with Outac. For the next three
months all we got was a constant stream of complaints about how expensive the
flights were, how much the ski hire was going to cost, how much the lift
passes were going to be and how much the coach transfer was. Strange
then that once there, Nicole decided to spend three nights in Chamonix’s most
expensive nightclub, paying upwards of fifty Euros a round of drinks until
the early hours. ·
Driver of the year Nominations:
- Eva Eva
decided to infuriate other visitors to Bell cottage by navigating the
three-mile long track from Glenridding without managing to get into second
gear. To add still more to the annoyance level of the drivers following her,
being a girl, she then parked up in the middle of track so no-one else could
get past until she’d unloaded all of her kit and kindly parked somewhere more
suitable. Winner: - Gary (Nicole’s’ boyfriend) For the
benefit of those who don’t know him, Gary is a highly trained professional
soldier who spends much of his time navigating his way across hundreds of
miles of bland, featureless desert, through dense jungle and over rugged
mountain terrain, often by moonlight, sometimes under heavy enemy machine gun
fire. All of which makes it difficult to comprehend why he managed to
completely miss the A93, 20 miles from Forth road bridge, meaning him and his
car load turned up at mar Lodge 2 hours late and having been at one point
about 45 miles off course. ·
Least active member This award
is presented annually to the outac member who in the opinion of the committee
has shown complete and unerring laziness, apathy or general lack of
enthusiasm to achieve anything even remotely physical apart from actually
turning up at the bunkhouse. Nominations:
- Tom and Lizzie. Despite holding key
positions on this years committee, the dynamic duo managed to turn up on
exactly one trip, which just happened to be the one with the easiest
mountain. Duncan (as
usual) Our hairless hero decided
to turn up at the waterlogged campsite in Langale with a tent he’d never
actually been bothered to put up on any previous occasion. After less than
half an hours fumbling around in the piss-pouring rain, he then decided to
admit defeat and sleep in the car. Despite having a
comparatively comfortable night, Duncan then completely failed to rise in
time to set off up to Jacks rake with everyone else and spent most of the day
in the pub. Winners: - The builders at Bell Cottage A highly skilled and
dedicated team of construction professionals, who managed to take more than
nine months to install a central heating system and put some Ikea furniture
in a 3 bedroom cottage. ·
Quote of the year (aka
the Katy Leeming award for such
verbal gems as: - “Are we staying here until we go then?”, “Suzuki 4x4,
who makes those?” and the immortal Cath Petersen classic – “Anusol, that’s a
mountain on the Isle of Rum isn’t it?” Nominations:
- Karen B Stupidity
doesn’t come much better than this. After the renovation works at Bell
Cottage in Glenridding, Karen points to a door and factually states, “That
used to be a door”. I feel I need say no more. Anonymous Keith
Allan brought his pet dog along to Glenridding and politely asked permission
for said animal to warm itself in front of the fire. Keith
added that the dogs name was “Maggie”, to which some unidentified idiot then
asked: - “So is it a boy or a girl
then?” Jenny Having
been interrupted several times in succession by an overly keen potential
acquaintance, Jenny politely inquired: - “Are you
always this annoying, or are you trying to set a record?” Winner: - Eva A heated
discussion on the medicinal benefits of Paracetamol at Mar Lodge brought form
Eva the timeless revelation: - “I’ve tried
every drug known to man, and they’re all rubbish”…. ·
Most active member Probably the only
award worth winning, this award is presented annually to the individual who
in the opinion of the committee has turned up on the most trips, made the most
regular appearances in the A-team, and shown out and out guile an
determination to try absolutely everything at least once. Bronze medal: - Andy Morg Despite being now 51 years old, Andy
decided to run the first 2 of the 3 peaks of Yorkshire, coming in a
creditable 2 hours earlier than the rest of the team, most of whom were less
than half his age. Winner Esther A well-deserved accolade,
all four trips attended, always on the A-team split and all climbs completed. |
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Northumbria University Mountaineering Club |
O U T A C |
Christmas – December 2008 |
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